Breaking Down
by LxIsxJustice
Summary: Beyond never felt like he could be loved. He never even asked for love. But that's exactly what I gave him. Beyond BirthdayxOC, pretty tragic ending. Rated T for one slightly sexual scene.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, Another Note, or any of their characters. However, I do own my OC (Before Break), so don't sue me. ^_^ Otherwise, I may have to sell our computer for money and then I couldn't write anymore.**

**Also, I just wanted to provide the background for this story. I decided to do a story about Beyond Birthday in a mental hospital, but it turned into a story with a whole lot of OCs. Also, I wanted to do a story where Beyond somewhat repents for his killings, so I decided to combine the two ideas, creating this story. So, yup...I hope you enjoy!**

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My name is Before Break. Hm, I have just realized my name is very befitting for my situation. It is both appropriate and good that should be my name, seeing as how my circumstances suggest I am Broken, but my life was lived Before the break.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling aren't I? It's something I tend to do now, ever since I've been here. I find that it helps to talk to…well, anyone really. Everyone except that stuffy 'psychiatrist' that's supposedly supposed to help us. That's complete crap, in my opinion, seeing as how nothing can really help us after what we've seen. Who are we? Why, the crazies and the lunatics of course! The ones society has rejected because of the chemicals we all have in our brains.

Rambling again…I really need to stop doing that for now. Anyways, I'm surprised to see you here. I never would have thought I'd have a visitor who would listen to my story. Just be careful, because being a visitor is how I ended up here. I was just curious, like you, but it turned into something much more than a child's innocent desire to understand. Yes, something much more powerful.

I like to think it was love, but the guards here always tell us we are incapable of love. That we are soulless creatures that have lost their humanity. I don't buy that, but I don't really know what to call what I felt. Love sounds like a loser word compared to what I felt.

My job now, I suppose, is to explain all my mixed up sentences and odd trains of thought. I'm going to tell the story of how I met my lover. My heart's murderer; my Beyond Birthday.

***

The rain splattered against the side of the building; ominous, forlorn.

Eyes staring across the field—of thriving grass and withered weeds—through the tiny window. '_That's the way of things, isn't it?_' he thought, '_The vast majority live on the outside while the few are left to rot in a god-forsaken cell._'

Beyond Birthday, Rue Ryuzaki, B, Backup, all the names of one person; very appropriate that he would have so many names. He had so many pieces of himself to name, so one name just never suited him.

Beyond, as I must call him now for the sake of my own sanity (Pardon my own pun) was quietly observing the lovely scene before him; a mother and father walking their child to the park. The little boy had tripped and was crying on the sidewalk. His mother rushed over and bent down to comfort him while the father looked at them lovingly.

It made Beyond sick.

He knew that the parents probably didn't truly care about what happened to their child. They just wanted to impress the other passing pedestrians with their amazing parenting skills. But no, Beyond wasn't buying into that whole love thing.

His parents were dead before he really got to know them, so of course he wouldn't understand a parent's love for their child. I admit, not all parents are wonderful, but mine were.

I was a very lucky child…in the beginning. I had parents and grandparents who loved me and cared for me until I was seven. At that time, a hit-and-run offender killed my father and grandparents while they were walking to the park, leaving my poor mother to fend for herself and me. She was, and still is, doing very well. She copes by burying herself in books. Thousands and thousands of books.

She always told me that books could save my life. While I don't think they can do _that_ much, I do believe it saved her from depression and suicide. She still paid plenty of attention to me, but I knew things would never be the same for anything. Still, it was so much better than what many children have to go through.

I grew up and eventually got to the age where I could attend college. I don't really like bragging, but I'm sort of a genius in my own way. I am a genius with analyzing people. I can tell what someone is thinking just by looking at their facial expressions and body language. It's not an exact science, but it's better than nothing.

I went to college in LA, turning 20 during my third year there. This was the year that changed everything.

Beyond Birthday turned from the window, his day having been automatically ruined by the false kindness presented before him. He lay back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, simply thinking. He was always doing that, you know, thinking. He always had several things going on in his head at one time, which may have been his downfall. Unlike me, he was a true genius in _every_ aspect.

He was also a murderer.

But we'll get to that later.

Like I said before, it was the third year at the college in sunny Los Angeles, and the class was excited because we were going on a field trip!

"I have an important announcement, class. We will be going on a field trip to reinforce your study in psychiatry," our professor had said.

Everyone went into an uproar; a classic case of small scale anarchy, and my professor (Mr. Collins) had to yell over everyone to say where we were going.

"We will take a tour through a mental institution and discuss the levels and results of insanity."

Everyone grew even more excited at this. It was going to be like a trip to the zoo, except we would be examining live humans in their 'unnatural' habitat.

Thus began my adventure.

***

We arrived at the institution several hours later.

I stepped out of the small bus that had shipped our class here, and immediately began striding towards the building.

"Wait one moment, Miss Break. Some students will be taking pictures for the school newspaper, and this is not a safe place to wander by oneself," Mr. Collins called out to me. Before I turned to go back, I took note of the name of the institution.

_Mentis Institution: For the Criminally Insane_.

Oh yeah, this was going to be interesting.

After the pictures were taken, we all went as a class to the main office, where a middle-aged woman came forward to meet us.

"Hello, dear friends, welcome to Mentis Institution!" she said in a sickly shrill voice. I took a good look at her face and posture, and knew she was a fake. She wasn't happy we were here, and I had no doubt that she would only take us through to the less-mental patients; the ones that were 'healing'. I realized with disappointment, that I would not get to see what I was looking for: someone truly insane.

Of course, looking back, I realize it was _me_ that was insane, seeing as how I was leading a life that was a complete lie. I just didn't realize it then.

We walked down long corridors filled with nothing more than pictures of the founders and important people in the institution. My God, it was boring.

As we went down, the time seemed to slow until I suddenly noticed we were walking by an open door. Glancing around to make sure I wouldn't be caught, I ducked through the door and closed it softly behind me. When I turned I was faced with a stairwell that spiraled up to the next level.

I giggled gleefully. From what I had studied about mental hospitals, I knew the severe case patients were either kept below ground or on the upper levels. Hoping it was the latter, I slowly began to ascend the steps.

I got to the top, and found that the door was not locked. I opened it slowly, and was immediately assaulted with the smell of mold and stagnant air. All in all, nothing at all like the friendly appearance of the lower level. I grinned; this was exactly how I pictured my adventure.

I crept slowly through the halls, hoping that a guard wouldn't see me sneaking around. I turned the next corner and was faced with rows upon rows of bars. It was rather dark, so I had to squint, but with a jolt, I realized that these were _prison_ bars.

I frowned. '_Wow, these people must have done something really crazy to end up here_.'

That's when the noise started.

**Hey everyone, thanks for reading the first chapter! I'm really excited about this story. I can't wait to update the next chapter. ^_^ I will probably update quickly every time, but no guarentees.**

**So, review my lovely friends! Me without reviews are like Ryuk without apples…it makes Beyond Birthday look sane.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! Whoo, majorly fast update!!! I was so excited about this story that I nearly fainted with glee. Anyways, I know I didn't leave much time to leave a review but I only have two! That makes me so sad...so I'm going to try to update slower unless I get at least five reviews from the second chapter. But who knows...I may just get way too excited again. And now, I give you the SECOND CHAPTER!**

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Suddenly, out of nowhere, a voice pierced the silence.

"Hey, Stan, is that you? What did I tell you about making noise this late at night?"

I froze, afraid to even breathe.

"No, it's not me. God Jack, do you always have to blame me for everything? I was just drifting off to sleep. Thanks a lot!" came another voice from a cell further down.

I stayed where I was, debating whether to advance further. I was surprised that the criminals were having normal conversations. Weren't crazy people supposed to only moan or not talk at all? Damn, I was so naïve.

Taking a slow breath, a tried to creep forward without making any noise. I failed. The floor creaked.

"Someone's here," the one that must be Jack, said.

"Yeah, man, I heard it too," Stan said.

There was silence for one beat, then, "I swear to God, Smiley, if you're out of your cell again to play a trick on us, I will personally carve your face into holes," came Jack's voice.

It suddenly hit me. His name was Jack, like Jack-O-Lantern, and he had threatened to 'carve' someone's face. With a sudden roll of nausea, I realized what his victims must have looked like when they were found.

I tried to muster up some courage before Jack could get any more pissed off.

"U-um, hello. It's not…Smiley, my name is Before Break, and I'm here with my college class on a field trip," I called out into the dim light.

There was a choking noise of shock from several cells, and then faces appeared from behind the bars.

I gasped at their nearly soundless appearance, then regained my composure. I had to play it cool with this crowd.

"Well, whaddya know?!" boomed a new voice. "Someone's come to visit us, guys!"

Several more people came forward to the front of their cells.

"Hello, Before Break. I'm Smiley, it's a pleasure to meet you," the man said in his big voice.

I was surprised at how calm I felt. Looking at their faces, there was no hatred or malice. Just the same curiosity I was feeling. I smiled at him and the others and nodded. "It's nice to meet you all too."

The one that must be Stan laughed suddenly. "Guys, she just greeted us! She ain't scared of us, looks like!"

Jack smiled at me. "Well, I must admit, I'm quite pleased to have a visitor after endless time in this hell-hole. Can I call you Miss Break?"

I nodded, feeling an odd sense of community in this foul smelling 'hell hole'. It shocked me, to say the least.

"Well then Miss break, I have one question: do you know where you are?"

"I'm in the room of the most criminally insane masterminds in the whole institution," I replied quickly, trying to show that I was not afraid.

There was silence for several moments. "Wow, she's something else," came Smiley's voice.

Jack spoke up again, "So, you're really not freaked out by that? Got to say, I'm impressed by your guts. Not even some of the guards are brave enough to wander around here at night."

"Probably because they know I'm known to roam at night," Smiley put in with a grin.

I smiled back. "So, then you know how to pick very complex locks?" I asked with more curiosity than fear at the fact that he could get out of his cell right now if he wanted.

"Yup, my granddaddy taught me when I was a small tyke. Oh! Where are our manners? (I had to suppress a giggle) I haven't introduced everyone. I'm Smiley, cell number two is The Jack-O-Lantern (also called Jack), number four is Stan The Baker, number three is Old Lady Roberts, but she's asleep right now. Oh yeah, and the farthest cell is a guy named Beyond Birthday. But, don't bother trying to talk to him. He never talks, so there's really no point."

I looked over to the end cell, but didn't see anyone from where I was. I walked forward until I got to Beyond Birthday's cell and peered into the darkness. I saw a boy about my age with messy raven black hair wearing a baggy white shirt and baggy blue jeans looking back at me.

I flinched, but not because I was scared. It was because as I looked at his eyes, I had never seen eyes so devoid of life. Usually, the eyes are the 'window to the soul' as they say. Beyond Birthday's eyes were curiously dead, with nothing but nothing showing through them.

Nonetheless, I said, "Hello, Beyond Birthday, my name is—" He cut me off.

"I know."

I blinked, surprised that he had said something to me, unlike what Smiley had just said to me.

"Oh, I guess you must have been listening to our conversation before. Well, it's very nice to meet you…can I call you Beyond?" I waited for some kind of reply, but none came. He just stared at me with those emotionless eyes, cold and unfeeling. He was nothing like the others in this hall. That much I knew.

Jack spoke up then, "Hey, Beyond, why not gracing the lady with some words, eh? She came all the way up here just to visit us, so why not have a bit of courtesy?" Beyond didn't reply.

"Oh, it's okay, Jack. I don't want to be a nuisance to anyone, so I guess I'll be leaving now."

The men all frowned. "Already? But, you just came up. Can't you stay a little longer? They won't be looking for you will they? We could all get in trouble you know."

I smiled reassuringly. 'No, I don't think they'll look for me. I'm not very noticeable in a big group, so they probably won't even notice I'm gone. If they do, I'll hide somewhere or leave through the back exit."

Stan grinned. "You're a smart one, all right. Thanks for staying here with us." His smile faded and he looked sad. "No one ever visits this trashy place. I'm surprised your class chose this institution for research. Say, what class are you even taking that you would even be here?"

I blushed, self conscious about my future career choice now. I had always wanted to be a psychiatrist, but meeting the people I might be 'helping', I wondered if there was really anything wrong with them at all. Then again, you had to be pretty crazy to kill people right?

"Erm...I _was_ going to be a therapist of some sort but…" I trailed off, shrugging.

"Hmm, well, if more therapists were like you, I'd consider going and talking to them," Smiley piped up. I stared at him, shocked.

"You mean, they don't talk to you here?!" I nearly shouted.

They all smiled sadly. "We're criminals, Miss Break. No one wants to ever talk to us or help us. You're sort of the first person besides the warden that's come up here in several years. We went to therapy once or twice, but they kept asking 'how do you feel?' God it was annoying. They never let us tell our story. They just put us on really crappy medicine."

I nearly cried when I heard that. Also, I was furious. How could people just let other people rot away with no help? It was just morally wrong! "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I had no idea things were like this."

Jack snorted. "Well, not like any of us can change anything now, so it doesn't really matter."

I looked at the floor angrily. Maybe when I went back to school, I would admit to what I did, and tell them what I had seen. Maybe my teacher could do something…

No.

People didn't care about anyone else anymore, so that option was out of the question. No one but me would try to help, because only I knew what these people were going through. I tried to remind myself that maybe they deserved it for killing, but I couldn't bring myself to hate any of them. I didn't know what kind of pain they had been through, so who was I to judge?

"I think I need to go now. Then tour must be close to finished by now. But…" I quickly made my decision. "I'll come back sometime soon, okay? I'll try to visit at the next chance I get."

They all looked shocked, even Beyond, who's eyes only held a hint of surprise.

"Really?" Smiley asked, "You'll really come back?"

As I moved towards the door, I looked back at them. Smiling, I replied with simplicity.

"Yes."

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**Well? What did everyone think? I hope you all liked it. Sorry If I fail at writing epically. SO read and review my readers and let me know what you thought. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or Another Note or its characters. I own all of my OC's lives, etc, etc. I also don't own Argosy University. It's a real psychology college in LA…coincidence? I dunno.**

**Holy cow! I got so many reviews in one day, so I got super excited and couldn't wait any longer. If I had any brains at all, I'd drag this out for as long as possible, since there are only six chapters...:( Maybe I'll do some really good one shots. Anyone have any ideas? Leave me a review! XD**

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I practically ran back down the stairs, hurrying so I would not be discovered to be missing. When I arrived back to where the group was, a snuck to the back of the bundle of bored looking students. I pitied them, they hadn't gotten the excitement I had gotten.

I stayed in a trance the whole way home, only snapping out of it when the bus came to a stop at my house. This vaguely surprised me. I didn't know that they were just letting us go home for the rest of the day.

I stumbled up the sidewalk to my apartment, fumbling for the keys. I was so shaken by all that I'd seen, and it was all crashing down on me now.

I flung off my shoes and tripped into my bedroom, flinging myself onto the bed and promptly falling asleep from sheer exhaustion.

I dreamed of Beyond Birthday's cold, probing gaze that night.

***

It would be about a week before I had the chance to go back. Nearly every day that week I slaved away at my classes and house work, only to stay up into the late hours of the night researching the Mentis Institution's history and layout. There were only two levels, like I suspected, with one for public appearance and one for the 'prisoners' as I had come to realize that's what they were.

After I passed out every night at my computer, I dreamed of Beyond Birthday. I just couldn't seem to get him out of my head. My dreams were not quite nightmares, but they weren't pleasant either. Usually, I would be lost in the institution's complex maze of halls—though by now I knew the blueprints well—and Beyond would be out of his cell, following my movements, piercing through me with those eyes, yet he never spoke to me.

Other times, the dreams would be of Beyond in his cell, curled up of the bed, rocking back and forth, humming a sad little tune to himself, with me reaching through the bars trying to help comfort him. But my fingers could never reach.

But then, just once, I did have a nightmare. And it wasn't Beyond killing me or anything. It wasn't about me at all. It was about the treatment of Beyond and my new found…friends. Yes, they were my friends in my mind, though I had only met them once. They were the only people that I really had ever talked to, despite always having other company at school. I was very shy at school, never seeming to find a place where I belonged. I mostly kept to myself.

When I dreamed this dream, I had woken up screaming and shuddering in horror. I had witnessed what shock therapy was.

Wandering through the halls of the criminally insane ward, I was calling out the names of my newfound friends.

"Smiley? Jack? Stan? Beyond? Is anyone here?"

Silence mocked me as my searching proved fruitless. I walked further into the corridor, then suddenly I heard yells and shrieks coming from a door to my left. I whirled around and saw with horror that the sign said: Warning, Electroconvulsive Therapy. High Voltage.

I stared at the sign a moment, before I burst through the door. What I witnessed was beyond anything I had ever imagined would happen here.

Beyond, lay bound to a table, shuddering and writhing as an older man sent bolt after bolt of electricity through his body. For once, Beyond's eyes held something other than apathy.

They held endless amounts of pain.

He turned to stare at me, writhing where he was bound. He said only two words.

"Save me…"

I woke up screaming, rolling off my bed in the process, hitting my head pretty hard on the desk beside my bed.

"OW!" I called out in protest, but there was no one there, of course. My apartment echoed my cry of pain, just as his words echoed ion my mind.

No, that wouldn't happen. This was The United States for crying out loud! They didn't use such inhuman tactics anymore…right?

I tried to dismiss the thought to no avail. It was Saturday, so I walked out into the bright light and the heat, taking a steady stroll down the sidewalk. I don't know if walking there was a subconscious or conscious thing, but I suddenly found myself at the entrance of Mentis Institution once again.

I sighed. I should have known that I would end up here so soon after my first visit.

I trudged up the stairs, suddenly nervous. Would they remember me? I mentally slapped myself. Of course they'd remember; it had only been a week since I'd been here!

When I walked into the office for the second time, I was greeted by the same receptionist. I looked at her nametag this time: Kara Hankins.

"Hello, ma'am, what can I do for you today?" she asked in her cackling voice. She sounded like the Wicked Witch of the West.

"Hello, Mrs. Hankins. I don't know if you remember me, but I was part of the group that came from Argosy University last week. I am doing extensive research on the criminally insane to further my career as a psychiatrist—"

"Sorry, visiting hours are over," She interrupted. She looked nervous and very annoyed, but I wasn't about to let this stuck-up woman get the better of me.

"Well, you allowed visitors at this exact time last week. I don't think you want to deny me entrance unless, you want some trouble with the law. You see, I went on a little…tour…last week and I think that the Justice Department would be _very_ interested in hearing how people are being treated here and where their fund money is going." I eyed her expensive fur coat suggestively.

I thought she was going to explode from anger. Her face turned a sallow purple color, but nonetheless she nodded towards the door to the right and growled, "Very well, you have my permission. Take this badge and you can go where you like."

I thanked her then made my way towards the same staircase that would lead me to my friends. I almost laughed. I was friends with four insane criminals, yet they treated me nicer than the 'normal' lady downstairs. The world sure is a backwards place.

When I arrived at the cells, I was about to call out to them, but I heard both loud and soft snoring coming from the cells, so I walked down to the end and sat down to await their awakening.

Suddenly, I saw movement from the last cell. Beyond had sat up and was looking directly at me with those eyes. We stared at each other for a few minutes, then he broke the silence.

"You came back."

I smiled at him, he was actually talking to me! "I told you all I would, didn't I?"

He just continued to stare at me, then nodded slowly and spoke quietly, "Yes, you did, but I didn't believe you really would."

I glared at him. He didn't even know me and he had made assumptions about me! The thought suddenly shook me; had I not made assumptions about him as well? My gaze softened and I smiled again.

"Well, I'm a woman of my word, and I said I'd return. How have things been in the week I was absent?" I suddenly felt anxious, remembering my horrid nightmare I had the night before.

He didn't answer; he got up and walked towards me from behind the bars. Kneeling down so he was face-to-face with me (I was still sitting on the ground) he spoke slowly and with emphasis. "You don't want me to answer that question."

I shivered, and he got back up and walked to the bed. "Oh, um, okay. Well, then what would you like to discuss while we wait for the others to wake up?"

He turned and looked at me with disbelief clear on his face. He suddenly smirked. It took me off guard, but I had to admit that he was incredibly beautiful when he smiled.

"And what, Miss Break, makes you think that _I_ want to have a conversation with _you_?"

I frowned, looking down at the floor I was sitting on.

"I don't know...I never said you had to…I would like it though," I grumbled looking at my shoes. They were my new ones I had gotten two weeks ago. I noticed that the white was already faded to a dull grey.

He sighed and walked back over to me, sitting with his legs drawn up to his chest, his fingers splayed across his knees and his back hunched over.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you sit like that?" I asked.

"What's your favorite food?" he shot back. I scowled, but answered his question anyway.

"Well, it's going to sound stupid, but I really like strawberry jam and toast. I could eat it every day. I think it's the perfect food!" I sighed dreamily, thinking of my sticky drug that I consumed by the jar at home.

His eyes widened more than usual and he simply sat there staring at me in utter silence. I felt embarrassed that I had told him but he whispered, "Me too."

I blinked in shock.

"Pardon?"

"Me too. That's my favorite food as well. But they never let me have as much as I need here. I've tried sneaking down to the kitchen, but I usually get caught and then—" he suddenly cut off and turned his face away from me, hiding some expression he didn't want me to see.

"Then what?" I whispered my voice barely audible.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!" I burst out. I was angry that he wouldn't tell me. I was here to help, wasn't I? So why wouldn't he tell me what was wrong?

He looked at me with blank eyes and said, "I told you, you don't want to know."

I glared daggers at him but he simply stared at me, as if he could read my mind with that cold gaze of his.

"Yes I do. Please, why are you so afraid of me? I can help you! I can—"

"No you can't! Don't you understand? No one can help me. I'm not even worth helping! You want to know why I sit like this? Damn it, I'll tell you then! It's because of _him_! Everything is because of him. It's his fault that my best friend died; his fault that I am a failure; his fault that I became a criminal!" he burst out suddenly. I jumped, but then regained myself in wonderment at the passion that burned in his eyes as he said this.

"Who's fault?" I murmured.

"L's fault."

I knew that name. It was the famous detective…no…the greatest detective in the world! How could it be his fault? Had he been the reason Beyond was caught as a criminal? Nothing made sense yet, but Beyond was quick to clarify.

"I am BB from the Los Angeles BB murder cases, more commonly known as the Wara Ningyo murders. I am the reason those three people died. I'm sure there are some case files on stock here if you want to know the details. But, that's not what I'm getting at. My story started long before coming to LA. Back when I was a baby, my parents both died in an accident and I was sent to an orphanage. Actually, that's an understatement. I was sent to about six different orphanages before I was ten, finally they realized that I was much more intelligent that the other children, and I ended up at a place called Wammy's house for gifted children. It was there that they train children to become L's successors. A boy named A and myself were the first two children there besides L himself. But, the pressure was to much for my friend, A. He committed suicide right in our bedroom's doorway…"

He fell silent here, casting his eyes downward towards the floor. I longed to make his memory of this awful tragedy flee from his mind, but I could only stare at him with a blank look in my eyes as I tried to comprehend his pain.

"After that, I tried to be just like L, to prove that I was worthy of becoming his successor; that I wouldn't fail like A had. But, he walked right past me like he didn't care; like I was less than him. After that , I ran away from the orphanage. I decided that if I couldn't be as good as my hero, then I would become the villain. I started planning my murders carefully, and I succeeded at each one. Except—"

"Hey hey! Look who's here fellas! It's Miss Break from last week! How ya doing, kid?" a voice boomed from a few cells down. I jumped, and then looked over to see Smiley, well, smiling.

"Hello, Smiley! It's been too long. How have you been since I last saw you?" I asked the same question I had asked Beyond, hoping maybe Smiley would give me an actual answer.

"Ah, I've been doing fine. Pretty bored though. After talking with you, all I could really concentrate on was you coming back."

"Yup, ol' Smiley wouldn't shut up about it," called Jack from the next cell over. "He's been jabbering on and on."

"Yeah, but Beyond over there was Mr. Pessimist. He said you weren't comin' back. I told him you would though. I knew you would, nice gal like you," Stan piped up.

I looked at Beyond, who had somehow gotten up silently and laid back down on his bed, facing the wall away from me.

"I see. Well, I did promise I'd come back, but I'm afraid you three outslept my visit. I've been here for quite awhile. At least an hour, and I don't think they'll tolerate me being here for much longer. Besides, I have some…personal research to do when I get home, but I promise that I'll return again. How about we make it a weekly thing? I'll come see you all once a week?"

Stan looked like he was choking. It took me a moment to realize he was laughing. "You're really not scared of us are you? Wow. Of course you can come back! We're happy to see you. In all honesty, and I'm just speaking for myself, you make life a hell of a lot more interesting. I don't think I've really looked forward to anything in years!"

I blushed. I wasn't used to people complimenting me like this. "Erm thanks. I really hope we can all be good friends."

I saw from the corner of my eye that Beyond had sat up and was looking at me with shock. I had a feeling it was at the use of the word 'friends'.

"Us too," Jack said. "That would be really great."

"Well, then I must be going, but I'll see you sometime soon. I may even come in more often than once a week if I can find the time. Good bye everyone!"

A loud chorus of 'goodbye' filled the quiet hallway as I stood up and walked to the door. When I got back to the main office, I thanked Mrs. Hankins and made my way back home. The moment I arrived home, I shut the door, locked it, and sat down at my computer.

It was going to be a long night.

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**Whee! This is the fastest I've ever updated on stories. One day in between? My brain hurts from trying to come up with this stuff quickly. So, read and review lovely people! Reviews are like my air so keep me alive! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Death Note...damn, these things depress me. Anyways, I'll own Death Note when I marry L so it's all good. Actually, I was playing "Dump, Date, Marry". Except we added "Affair". So my friends made me pick for the Death Note characters. Here's what I said, "I'd dump Near (becuase he's usually an emotionless robot), date Matt (because he's really really nice), Marry L (Because I'd SO love the long term commitment with him), and have an affair with Mello ('Cause he's TEH SEX!). That's my random blabbering for the day.**

**By the way, I have a question about the sixth and final chapter that's coming up: Do you want Before Break to be elusive and skip on some details (which could possibly set up a sequel) or have it be in depth (and still possibly have a sequel just a little different than the original sequel)? Let me know either in a review *hint hint* or email me at s u r e _ f i r e _ a n g e l y a h o o . c o m (Remove the spaces)**

**I hope you enjoy chapter four!**

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Horrifying.

That was the only word I could use to describe what I read that night.

When I went home after my most recent visit, I hacked into the Mentis Institution's files and got the murder records that Beyond had told me about. Three victims, each brutally mutilated after their death. Some woman named Naomi Misora had been sent by L to find the serial killer, only to discover that it was her partner, Rue Ryuzaki (really Beyond Birthday) was the criminal mastermind she was seeking.

I stared in shock at the gruesome pictures on file of the three unfortunate victims: Believe Bridesmaid, Quarter Queen, and Backyard Bottomslash.

Though there were many clues missing from the files, I was able to figure out most of the tricks Beyond had used to lead Misora to her conclusion. However, there was something much more frightening that caught my eye.

Beyond Birthday had a fourth victim, though that one failed. It was himself. He had set himself on fire using gasoline and proceeded to nearly burn himself to death until Naomi Misora had burst onto the scene and put out the fire.

My eyes were open wide as I read the medical history. Thirteen skin grafts and still more burns that were left without treatment. How had he survived such an experience?

I don't know when it started, but tears began rolling down my face as I read the files once again.

Beyond had tried to kill himself.

I shook at the motives behinds his actions. He had, like he'd told me, been trying to beat L; to avenge A. And he had been willing to sacrifice everything to do that. Even his own life.

Did that make him weak? Or did it make him so much stronger than I could ever hope to be? I vaguely wondered if Misora had asked herself the same question as she watched him burn.

I immediately dove into bed when I had shut down my computer, shivering with fear and anguish. I lay there, unable to feel the proper hatred towards Beyond. It only made me sympathize with him more, if anything. I wanted to make everything better, but I couldn't change what he had chosen to do.

I knew he must truly be insane in every aspect of the word, but I couldn't bring myself to disgust him for what he did. I knew all the details, but that also included _why_ he did what he did.

Did he even have a chance?

Had he even been given anything that would have prevented this outcome? Was it really not his fault?

All these questions echoed in my mind, trying to organize the jumbled thoughts that threatened to take me under.

And then, something came to my mind that _really_ took me off guard.

'_Why do I care?'_

The thought suppressed all other thoughts and reverberated throughout my mind.

Why did I care?

Was it because of sympathy? Because I hated to see people in pain even if they'd done evil things? Because _I_ was crazy too?

Again, I didn't have an answer.

I slowly drifted off to sleep as I tried to come up with an answer, and before I knew it, I was thrown into the bottomless nightmare that still haunts me to this day.

_I was in a small room that could easily be identified as a hotel room. The walls were a simple beige and bare, with nothing but a small straw doll on the wall opposite of me._

_A Wara Ningyo._

_Suddenly, a horrible smell wafted in my direction. It smelled of smoke and burning flesh. My eyes traveled down to the floor where someone was twisting as flames rolled across his body._

_I shrieked, backing away from the flames' heat, unable to take my eyes off the mesmerizing fire._

_I suddenly recognized the burning man as Beyond! I ran towards the flames, unafraid now that I would be burned._

"_Beyond! No!" I screamed as I tried to beat the flames off his body. I was suddenly aware of heat on my arms, and I looked down to see the flames slowly creeping up my arm. I screamed at the intolerable pain that racked through my body as the flames licked at my skin._

_I tried to reach out to Beyond, but I seemed to get farther and farther away, until…_

I suddenly woke up, bolting upright in my bed, panting and still shivering from the nightmare.

"Beyond…" was the only coherent thing I could say for several minutes until I calmed down enough to climb shakily out of bed and make my way to the kitchen.

I opened the fridge only to be met by the sight of a jar of my favorite strawberry jam. That did it.

I sank to the floor, sobbing, and crumpled into a small ball, trying to get rid of the horrifying images that lingered behind my eyelids.

I lay there crying for quite awhile, I don't even know how long, but I finally got a grip on myself. I stood again and grabbed the jar of jam, running full tilt for my room. I grabbed a purse and stuffed the jar inside, grabbing my keys and running out the door and down the street.

I don't know what compelled me to go back, but I ran the whole way until I was back at Mentis Institution, bursting through the door and storming past the office, not even bothering to ask permission.

I raced up the steps that I felt like I had ascended a thousand times and burst through the final door that would lead me to my target.

"Oh, hey Miss Break! I didn't expect to see you so—" Jack began, but I cut him off when I saw that Beyond's cell was empty.

"Where's Beyond? I have to talk to him right now!" I nearly shouted.

Jack looked at Smiley, who'd come to the front of his cell to see what the commotion was about.

"Um…well, they took him away a little while ago. I don't really know what they were doing, but I had the suspicion that they might—"

I was out of the room before he finished speaking. I knew what was happening. It was what had happened in my dream. I ran down the next hall until I came to that evil sign that stated I was where Beyond would be.

I peered through the narrow window that was on the door, eyes widening in horror when I saw that I was right.

They were shocking Beyond over and over again and he cried out in pain with every jolt that went through him. I growled angrily and kicked down the door with strength I didn't know I possessed.

The man administering the shocks looked up, quite surprised to see that a girl had just broken down the door.

"Stop it!" I yelled at him, running forward at beginning to tear wildly at the bindings holding Beyond down.

"Young lady, what on earth are you—" he tried to restrain me, but by that time I had already freed Beyond. He shakily stood up, then promptly grabbed the tool that had been used to shock him and held it to the man's chest.

The man shuddered and then fell to the floor, eyes wide open from the electricity.

"Hurry!" Beyond shouted at me, grabbing my arm and running full out towards the staircase.

I suddenly noticed that we were running towards the door of the institution, but I wasn't about to object. I knew what kind of trouble we would both be in if we stopped now.

I saw Mrs. Hankins face as we blew past her, and it was priceless. I have never seen someone more freaked out than her in that instant, but in a moment we disappeared out the door, leaving Mentis Institution behind.

Beyond dragged me behind him until we got to the parking lot. He ran to a small black car (I didn't know the make and model) and quickly broke the widow, sliding through the opening and opening the passenger door for me.

"Get in!" he ordered with a glare, and I was only too happy to oblige.

Once he had hotwired the car, we sped away from the old building down the highway until the institution faded out of sight.

We sat there is silence for a minute, then Beyond let out a laugh. It was the kind of laugh that you would expect from a devil or a God of Death, but it fascinated me. There was true emotion behind it; none of the apathy he had in his cell.

He continued to laugh until tears rolled down his face and he choked out, "I…never…thought I'd…see the..sun…again!" between giggles.

He calmed down and looked over at me with a gleeful expression.

"Thank you, Before Break. For breaking me out."

The words began to sink in slowly. I had just helped an insane murderer escape the mental institution.

Oh, crap.

But, I found myself smiling back at him, feeling joy at his joy; happiness with his happiness.

"You're welcome!" I replied cheerfully, unable to help the smile that continued to grow on my face.

Because, I had figured it out. I knew why I cared so much now. It was because…

I was in love with Beyond Birthday.

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**Yay! She realized her feelings! I love it when that happens. Unfortunately, I must warn you; this story does not have a very happy ending. But, seeing as how I am a sucker for happy endings and fluff, I will probably make a really good sequel that's been spinning in my head since I wrote the first chapter of this story.**

**Read and review! I love reviews like I love Death Note: A whole freakin' bunch!**


	5. Chapter 5

After the initial shock and happiness calmed down, Beyond began to think. He stared at the road in silence, obviously planning how to _stay_ free.

At first, the silence worried me. I didn't know what it meant.

"Beyond…are you ok?" I asked timidly. After realizing that I loved him, I was afraid to talk to him, fearing some kind of rejection.

"Yes. I'm planning," was the reply.

"Planning what?" I asked in return.

"Planning how to keep us safe and out of the hands of the police."

"Oh."

That was the end of that conversation. But, I was pleased at the way he said 'us' instead of just himself. We drove for hours in silence as Beyond 'planned'.

So I was surprised when we pulled into an abandoned parking lot and he got out of the car.

"Come on, we need to get supplies," he called through the window.

I stumbled out of the car behind him, nearly tripping on my own clumsy feet. He caught and steadied me, and I blushed when his arms were holding me up.

I followed him into the small grove of trees where I was surprised to see a tiny crumbling house rising from the mist of the tiny forest.

The smell of the house reminded me of Mentis Institution; moldy and rarely aired out.

"Sorry about the smell. This was one of my old hiding places, but I haven't come here in a long time." He grimaced. "Seeing as how I wasn't at liberty to come here anyways."

He began gathering cans of the still-good food from the tiny fridge and silently handed them to me. When my arms were full, he began packing tools in a bag along with a first aid kit and several other things that I couldn't identify.

He glanced over at me, then pulled out a knife from a drawer. Unthinkingly, I gasped.

"Don't worry. It's just a precautionary measure. I wouldn't…" he trailed off. "I've realized my mistakes. I know it was wrong, and I've given up. I'm not going to kill anyone ever again, unless they try to kill you. I promise." He looked up at me with an unfathomable expression.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Come on then, we need to go before they can find us here."

He led me back out to the car, stashing the food in the trunk, where we found some money in a briefcase, obviously government funds for the institution.

We drive for another hour, until we came to a cheap looking hotel.

"We'll be spending the night here, so bring the money with you when we get out," he said calmly.

Once inside, it was easy to see that this hotel was meant for things…other than sleeping.

Posters of nearly naked women and scantily clad men were everywhere and there was a small machine with things like…condoms and the like.

I glanced over at Beyond, and saw that he was blushing too. It was just a light dusting of pink across his cheeks, and I yearned to reach out and stroke my fingertips across his lovely face.

He walked up to the counter where a slutty looking blonde was blowing a bubble with her pink gum.

"How can I help you, hon?" she asked, running her eyes up and down Beyond's body. I growled in my head, cursing her to the seventh layer of Hell.

"I'd like to check out a room for my girlfriend and myself," he said, glancing back at me as he said this. My eyes popped open wide and my mouth fell agape slightly.

"Of course. I assume you want one bed?" she asked, clearly disappointed that he was not 'available'.

Before either of us could object, she took out a key and led us to a room down the hall.

"This is your room, I hope you enjoy your stay here," she said brusquely, turned, and walked away.

Beyond slowly opened the door and we stepped inside warily.

There was a dresser, some landscape pictures on the wall, and a lamp in the corner. But, that's not what scared me.

In the middle of the room was the tiniest bed I had ever seen. One person would barely fit in it, let along two; at least, if they wanted any personal space.

We both just sort of stood there staring at it for awhile, before I spoke up.

"You can have the bed, I'll take the floor."

Beyond slowly turned to face me. "No, I'll take the floor. I'd never make a woman sleep on the floor," he said quietly.

I sighed. I sensed a long argument coming, but I really just wanted this day to end.

"Fine. I'll take the bed. Goodnight, Beyond."

"Goodnight, Before Break," he replied.

"You know, you can just call me Break if you want. I don't mind."

"Very well. Goodnight, Break," he said.

He shut off the light and curled up on the floor, both of us ready for sleep tonight. Or, so I thought.

"Holy sh—" suddenly pierced the stillness, and I nearly jumped straight up at his outburst.

"What!?" I shrieked, looking over the edge of the bed at Beyond.

"Something just crawled on me!" he yelled in disgust. "What the hell kind of a crappy hotel is this!?"

I breathed a sigh of relief, just glad he hadn't been fatally injured or anything.

"Oh, um well I guess we should have expected as much. I guess you can share the bed with me so it won't crawl on you again," I offered. I couldn't believe I was offering for him to totally invade my personal bubble, but whatever it was could be poisonous or something.

He was silent; probably weighing the pros and cons of the new plan. I felt the bed creak as he crawled up on the bed. I scooted over as far as the bed would allow, and I felt his hair tickle my cheek as he laid his head down beside mine.

I closed my eyes again, longing for sleep to come before my mind could get to wishing things were like they seemed now.

Sleep did not come.

"Break? Are you still awake?" he asked in the darkness.

"Yeah, I guess we're both still awake." Wow. Way to state the obvious.

"I was wondering…" he didn't say anything for a moment, but reluctantly continued, "Do you know how to sing?"

I smiled. I knew where this was going. I asked my mother that as a child when I wanted her to sing me to sleep. I started humming softly, hoping it would help us both fall asleep.

"You have a lovely voice, you know," he murmured, and I could tell he was getting sleepy.

"I learned from my mother. She used to give me singing lessons when I was little."

"So, your mother…loves you right?" he asked.

"Yes, I know she does. Probably even more than I love her."

"Break, why did you come back. You looked at the files didn't you? You saw the pictures. You saw what I did, but you came back anyways. I want to know why," he spoke barely audible.

I hesitated. I knew the answer, but I knew he didn't feel the same way. Why would he? But, I knew he would see through a lie, so I told him the truth.

"It's because…I love you, Beyond. And no matter what you did, I still love you."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry I didn't do a disclaimer on the last chapter. I'll fix it later. Anyways, I just couldn't bear to make everyone wait through that evil cliffhanger, so I'm updating twice in one day! 0.0 Sadly, this is the...dun-dun-dun...FINAL CHAPTER! Noooooo! However, it is POSSIBLE that I will make a sequel. I want some feedback on if ytou want one or not. It will be a happy ending, unlike this one, so you can probably guess what it will be about once you read this chapter. Anyways, I'll look forward to hearing from you all one last time...for now.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Death Note. Case dismissed.**

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Silence.

At first, I thought maybe he had already fallen asleep, but in the faint light from the hallway I could see his wide eyes looking at me. I cast my eyes downwards, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. I felt the urge to rush from the room, knowing I was about to be rejected in a few short seconds.

I rolled over to my other side, facing away from him, feeling the tears rolling down my face.

Without warning, his hands were on my shoulders rolling me back to face him. I was about to push him away, but his mouth suddenly silenced any efforts to speak. Before I had time to register the fact that he was kissing me, he pulled away.

"Oh, Break. I didn't think it was possible. From the time you came back when you said you would, I fell in love with you. I tried to repress it…I didn't ever believe you could love me back…Break, I love you so much," he whispered into my ear.

I couldn't speak; he pulled my face back to his, his mouth lingering on mine this time. His hands twisted into my hair, and running the tip of his tongue along the seam of my mouth; a request.

I hesitantly parted my lips and he slid his tongue along mine. I sighed at the sensation as our tongues danced together.

He pulled me closer to him and moaned as my hands slid up under his shirt, pulling over his head and discarding it carelessly to the floor.

Slowly, so slowly, he rolled so he was hovering over me, our bodies pressing together.

"Break, I won't force myself on you if you don't want me. So, tell me, do you really want this?" he asked, his voice low and rough.

I tilted my head back as his lips roamed over my neck.

"Yes," I replied. It was the last coherent thing I could say for the rest of the night.

***

A strange beeping sound was what woke me up on the most peaceful of mornings.

I groaned as I slammed my hand down on the alarm clock that had disturbed my perfect dream. I blinked my eyes open slowly, but I was suddenly aware that my head was rising and falling with rhythm, as if I were at sea on a boat.

I cleared the sleep from my eyes and suddenly realized that it wasn't me that was moving. My head was laying on Beyond's chest and my head was moving with each breath he drew in or out.

So it hadn't been a dream. It was all real. A deluge of memories from the previous night flooded my mind and I blushed.

I looked up at Beyond's face; he was still asleep, his face smoothed out from all worry or sadness that was usually evident in his expressions.

Reaching up, I stroked my hand across his pale eyelids, his flawless face, his perfect lips. I smiled to myself, knowing that he was mine and I his.

I laid my head back down on his chest, until I felt his hand stroking through my tousled hair.

"Good morning, Break."

I looked up at his face, surprised when I saw his expression. He looked frightened and I had no idea why.

"Beyond…what's wrong?" I whispered, afraid to know the answer. Had I done something wrong?

"Are you ok?" he asked softly, touching my swollen lips gently.

I looked at him questioningly. "Yes, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? Last night…" I stopped, a silly little grin spreading on my face. Last night had been the best night of my entire life. What was he looking so guilty for?

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

I stared at him, uncomprehending. What was he saying?

"I've…never done anything like that before, so I didn't know what I was doing. I was terrified the entire time that I was going to do something wrong and then you would leave me…" he trailed off, looking at me with fear in his eyes.

"Idiot," I said incredulously.

"What?"

"For a genius, you sure can be silly you know. You really thought I would stop loving you because you were inexperienced!? First off, that's nothing to be worried about, seeing as how last night was easily the best night in my entire life. Second, how could you think that? I love you no matter what! How could you doubt me so much?"

He looked down, ashamed.

"I don't have any experience with _any_ kind of love. I don't really know what to expect."

I softened my gaze. "Oh, Beyond. I'm sorry. I know that you're not used to this but," I smiled and kissed him softly, "You'll just have to get used to the fact that I'm not leaving you. I love you."

He grinned and said, "I could get used to that fairly easily, I believe."

"Good."

***

Well, we're nearing the end of my tale. I wish I could tell you it has a happy ending, but I can't. Because it doesn't; simple as that.

We spent several weeks on the run, colliding into the police many times, but never getting caught. It was a strange kind of paradise, but one nonetheless.

We did what we could, but one day everything collapsed.

It's strange, isn't it, that most often the things that alter our lives can be said in a limit of three words? Like "I love you" can change your life, so can…

"You're under arrest!"

These are the three words that would bring my life crashing down around me.

But…I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm sure you would be quite interested in the details of how we got captured, would you not?

We drove for a long while, talking about my aspirations to be a psychologist and his wishing to speak to L in person someday; to confront him in his wrongdoings, but also to possibly apologize. He knew L would try to make him go back to the institution, but he had several plans on accomplishing a meeting without getting caught.

We pulled into a sweet shop to stock up on our sugar supply…I'm sorry. I always tear up when I speak of this, because it was the last time I got to see Beyond smile; when he dipped his hand into a fat bottle of jam and licked his fingers clean.

While he was preoccupied I went over to the fortune cookies, which I always found to be delicious with jam and also very entertaining with their nonsense fortunes.

I picked up the first one I saw and tore open the package, breaking open the cookie and removing the slip of paper from the sugary middle.

_Dear Before Break,_

What the hell?

_I believe you must realize that the police have been chasing after you for some time now. I have tracked your movements thanks to a monitor that is on all employees' cars, including the one you and B stole. Please come outside so I can meet the one who broke out my rival in person._

_~L_

I slowly looked up from the slip of paper, wondering how this could be real. I glanced through the window and saw, to my great dismay, several police cars with their lights flashing.

I staggered back to Beyond, who had not yet noticed our fated demise right outside, and handed him the slip of paper. Instead of looking terrified, he laughed one cold, empty laugh.

"I should have known about the monitor. He really is the top detective for a reason. I was a fool to think I could have ever outsmarted him…" he trailed off sadly.

"No! We can get away! We could—" I started to whisper frantically.

He pressed his mouth to mine, lingering with warmth in his eyes as he stared into mine. Just when I couldn't breathe, he pulled away.

"No, Break. It's over. I can try to talk him out of putting you in prison, but I can't change what he'll do with me. I'll end up somewhere where you can't get to me; he'll make sure of that."

I started sobbing, clinging to his shirt, staining it with the salt of my tears.

"Please, Beyond. Please, don't leave me."

"Come on, Break. We need to go outside before they storm the place. I would feel eternally regretful if the jam jars got broken because of me," he grinned down at me, silencing my sobs with lips once more.

He held me close for a moment, whispering, "I love you," in my ear. Then, he turned us and led me silently out the door to meet our fate.

The moment we stepped out the door, a shout was heard and police rushed up at us with handcuffs at the ready.

We did not struggle.

Once secured with the cuffs, a man came out from behind the nearest car. I realized with a jolt, he looked just like Beyond, only he somehow came across as the original and Beyond as the copy.

L.

"So, you're the one who started all this?" he asked in an irritatingly familiar monotone. It was like meeting an emotionless Beyond all over again.

"Yes," I whispered, staring straight into his blank eyes.

He nodded, then turned to Beyond saying, "Hello, Backup."

Beyond's gaze darkened at the mention of that hated name. He glanced around to make sure no one was listening, then said, "Hello, L Lawliet."

Both L and my eyes widened. How had he known L's name? It reminded me of the time when I had tried to introduce myself.

"_Hello, Beyond Birthday, my name is—" He cut me off._

"_I know."_

Could he somehow know people's names by just looking at them?

By the time I had finished speculating, L had regained his composure and retained his mask of apathy.

"And how do you know my name?" he deadpanned.

Beyond smirked, "That is for me to know, and information for you to possibly interrogate out of me."

L raised an eyebrow, then spoke for the rest of the police to hear.

"Please escort our suspects to the car and take them to the places I instructed you."

Beyond and I were arrested about twenty-three days after we had broken free. I now know that it was L who commissioned the police to look for us so carefully. But still, I don't hate L. If it weren't for him, I would not have truly lived life to its fullest, even if only for a brief time.

Beyond was placed in solitary confinement in a high tech security mental hospital, and I was in prison until L could decide what to do with me.

A few days into my jail time, I received an unexpected visit.

L walked in with no guards, so I figured he wanted to interrogate me alone.

But, as most people learn about L when they meet him: he never does what you expect.

"Thank you." Were the first words out of his mouth as he crouched by my cell.

I blinked. "What?" I asked stupidly.

"I said—" he began, but I quickly interrupted.

"I know what you said. What I should have asked is 'what for?'"

He stared at me with those emotionless eyes, like Beyond had the first day we met.

"Thank you…for loving Beyond," he said quietly.

I stared at him, shocked into silence. "He told me that you two were in love. Needless to say, I was skeptical, but he somehow convinced me that it was true. So, I wanted to say thank you. You gave him the second chance that no one else gave him…that_ I_ didn't give him. Such love must be both powerful and blind, a kind that I will likely never experience or understand…" he stopped, looking at me with more emotion than before.

I continued to stare at him, at a loss for words.

"However, I cannot overlook your crime. You broke a criminally insane man, responsible for the murder of three innocent people, out of a mental institution. Obviously, I cannot set you free. Therefore, I am sentencing you to six years in prison, but you will have contact with Beyond. Does that sound just?"

I smiled at the note that he didn't use the word 'fair'. 'Fair' is so easily misused and twisted to benefit the person using it, but 'just' is the way to say what is right.

I nodded, finally able to speak, "Thank you L. I'm very grateful for your presence today. I must say, I was getting rather worried that I would be left here without a visit." I smiled at him.

He nodded too, arising and slouching toward the door.

"Good luck, L Lawliet," I called to him before he could leave.

He turned slowly, the smallest of smiles gracing his face before he said, "And to you, Miss Break."

***

Dear listener, I do not wish to inflict the rest of the story upon your heart. It is far too upsetting for me…

But, very well, if you wish to hear the rest, who am I to deny you?

It was exactly thirteen days later that Beyond suffered a fatal heart attack. I know now that it was at the hands of Kira.

I sank into depression, and eventually L decided to put me into Mentis Institution on the basis that Beyond's Death had made me insane.

They put me in the same cell Beyond had been in, and I tried to take comfort in the fact that I was there in my beloved's place. At least he was no longer here, and I prayed that his repentance for his actions would be enough to save him in the next life.

And now, dear listener, we've come a full circle.

When you came in, you asked me what I was singing to myself. Well, I think now is a good time to tell you.

I was singing the song I sang to Beyond the night we confessed our love to each other. It's My Immortal by Evanescence. I particularly like the line that says, "For you still have all of me."

That line represents what I felt and will always feel for Beyond Birthday.

Now, my dear listener, I would like to be alone. I don't want you to see me…

Breaking Down.

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**Thanks for sticking with the story and reviewing all your wonderful reviews! lol. I still would love a few more reviews, so I know how you liked it overall, and if you liked the ending. I stuck with the true story line for the most part, so don't get angry at me becuase he died. :( I hated that part of the novel too.**


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